Wednesday, December 26, 2018

A Prolonged Absence



It's been a very long time since I posted anything here. At first it was because life was busy, I had just been ordained as a deacon and had a child on the way.  Then I didn't post because I couldn't remember my login information. I would periodically sit down to think about writing something only to be called away and forget to ever go back to it. 

Well a lot has happened since my last post. My son Ioan was born a little over a month after my last post. We named him after Saint John of San Francisco whose intercession we sought throughout the time that my wife was pregnant with him. I anointed her with oil from the vigil lamp at his tomb each day. His icon has a small vial of rose water with which they washed Saint John's relics before re-vesting him, a gift from our priest who was there for this occasion. Ioan has grown into such a wonderful young boy and a terrific big brother. 


Then a couple years later his brother Theodore was born. He is named after Saint Theodore the Studite, the great defender of icons during iconoclasm. Teddy is probably the most like me of any of the kids, he is always doing things that I remember doing as a child (even the bad things). It is amazing to me how children can act as mirrors of our selves. He is a very sweet boy and is very smart and clever for his age.


A few years later, our daughter Maria Joy was born. She was a bit of a surprise. I gave a talk at a Pastoral Conference about the icon of The Joy of All Who Sorrow. When in the process of preparing a homily on the subject the next year, my wife didn't want to tell me that she suspected that she was pregnant until after I had given the homily. I told her that if the baby was a girl she would have to be named after the Joy of All Who Sorrow, and sure enough that's what happened. She is now 17 months old, she's walking and babbling up a storm. She adores both of her big brothers.

These three children have been such a blessing to my wife and me. None of them have been "easy" children, they don't believe in sleep or rest or any such thing. We are constantly on our toes. But they have brought joy, consolation, and a sense of God's love and providence to us.

I have continued teaching workshops on iconography and lecturing from time to time. We have been blessed to travel with the children and have made life-long friends with many of the amazing students we have encountered. This past year I completed the Pastoral School of the Diocese of Chicago and the Midwest (ROCOR) It was a two year program that took me roughly five years to complete. I finished a well-recieved thesis on the subject of iconography which helped me to re-examine much of what I thought I knew about iconography. It has helped me in my teaching and in my own understanding of what icons mean for myself and for the Church.

On November 13, 2018, seven years to the day after my ordination to the diaconate, I was ordained to the priesthood at Saint Nicholas Cathedral in Seattle for continued service at my parish in Boise. I am greatly blessed to be able to serve alongside Father David Moser at Saint Seraphim's Orthodox Church as his assistant. I also have the great joy of having my son, Ioan, as an altar server with me.

I felt that it was important to post here again for a number of reasons. The first being that I still get the occasional email about the loss that my wife and I suffered so many years ago. It has been a part of my life since, and am glad to know that others can sympathize with our loss. But I also want to encourage others that life does continue. Sometimes with the blessing of other children. Sometimes with other blessings. My wife and I responded to our loss by throwing ourselves into the life of the Church. This has born plentiful fruit in our lives. It does not take away the loss but can transform and transfigure grief into something beautiful. It can turn sorrow into joy if you will.

I also know that I have more to say about icons, about theology, about the Saints. Some of this comes from my studies, some of it from my work as an iconographer, and some of it from homilies that I am giving at my parish. I can't claim great wisdom or insight, but a desire to share what I have learned with others.